conundrum

I feel like I’m having some of the best growth artistically because I’m at a point where I’ve gained enough skill to really able to put a lot into practice now. It’s thrilling and also exhausting. The more I learn about acting, the more I realize how hard I will have to work to truly be good. Once I’ve learned a new skill, I have to add it to what I already know, and until I’m comfortable with it, I must devote that much more energy to implementing that learned skill along with the others I’ve learned.

All this is juxtaposed with knowing I need to move forward, and that moving forward may mean giving up a source of growth. Fear says the loss will be permanent, and I will be stunted. And yet, I know staying where I am may mean many losses of growth in other areas and in the same. Fear also says that God will not give me back what He asks me for in obedience.

Truth: God gives good gifts to His children.

Truth: God is faithful to his promises of provision.

Truth: Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Lord, give me courage to follow you and trust you to take the insufficient gifts I offer and make them more than enough.

P.S. - A really neat friend of mine from church passed away on Wednesday. I really don’t have the right words to describe how special his Christian faith was. I don’t think I ever saw him angry or bitter, though I’m sure he had times of it. He served at every church event he could. He reached out to visitors and always made sure to make others feel welcome. He prayed, he shared what God was teaching him, and he gave his life away. All of this while confined to a body that wouldn’t do what he wanted, couldn’t walk, or even shake someone’s hand. He ran his race well.

I am thankful for David Van Zandt and the difference Christ made through him.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (David among them now), let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1