for friends

Actually, this blog is more for me than anyone else, but today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and all the way back to the Easter weekend, I have been thankful and more aware of the tremendous blessing God has given me in my friends. Each one of them is unique, and brings a different perspective, and each one of them blesses me uniquely and deeply. I would list them, but then I would be afraid of leaving someone out, and those who know me know that the last thing I want to do is hurt someone's feelings. So... no lists of names, just the accounting of the blessings those names mean to me.

Thank you God for friends who stick close, who stay in the trench with me, or crawl down into it to keep me company, or offer a hand from above to let me know I won't always be there. Thank you God for the truth that even in this, You are Sovereign. Thank you that my worries and anxieties about whether or not I'll measure up or that my efforts will be wasted (yet again) cannot stand against the truth that Your hand will accomplish Your will in Your time, and that all You ask of me is obedience.

It's hard. But I am so thankful for friends who dream with me, laugh with me (or at me), and encourage me to not give up on the secrets in my heart. Friends that affirm that what I think, and feel, and hope for is important and valuable to me, to them, and to God. These are the people God has given me to cling to and to in turn encourage and lift up. What a privilege to go through life with such friends.

Since we can't have God completely here on earth, perhaps He gives us Himself through our brothers and sisters in Christ. Perhaps the reason why these meetings of the soul are so important to me, is that, in some way, the Spirit in me is touching the Spirit in them. Perhaps we experience the divine in such moments. And if that is true, then friendship is something sacred - of great worth and responsibility before God.

...

I am thankful for friends.

back to blogging

So, I haven't written in a while, a long while, as all you who follow me have realized (crickets, crickets). But a lot has happened, good and bad, and I have a lot to be thankful for, so I'm going to make a list and go from there.

I am thankful for disappointed hope - one specifically, that should it have panned out, I would have missed out on another grand blessing: one that was a source of joy amidst some darkness.

On that note, I am thankful for EMMA. I was so surprised that I should even be considered for the part, but I know the material well and had a sense of what was at her heart. All that contributed to a good audition, and ultimately, I think, God planned for me to play her. I hope that doesn't sound arrogant. I honestly doubted myself many, many times. But, I cannot tell you how much it meant to me to play her night after night, and what joy and satisfaction it brought me as an actor. It stired my passion for acting in a way that I have been missing for a while. By the end of the run I thought, "I can do this!" and not only that but "This is what I want to do." I feel like now, finally, I am at a place in my skill level as an actress that I am confident that I can be competitive. I haven't felt that way till now. EMMA gave me so many reasons to be thankful. I am thankful for every person who made that show what it was, and for each cast member who continued to work and grow with me throughout the run.

I am thankful for my Gramma Cooksey. She went to be with Jesus the morning of July 9th, the day after opening night of EMMA. I am thankful God took her when He did, not a moment too soon or too late. I am thankful I was able to go home and help my family and attend the funeral. I am thankful for all her prayers for me, the example she lived, and the love that she gave me and all her family members. I am thankful that I will see her again restored and whole in heaven. I am thankful for her.

I can think of several other immediate items I'm thankful for, but as I hope this post is the beginning of my blogging again, I will save them for another day.

Thank you for reading, whoever you are. I hope you are blessed today.

the promise of beauty

Okay, so this still isn't a weekly blog... Oh well.

I bought fresh mozzarella today for the first time! I've been intimidated by it before, but today, today, there was a coupon at HEB. I could buy cherry tomatoes, which I love and will eat anyway, and get the mozzarella free! So I did, and had the tomatoes and mozzarella tonight with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, and cracked pepper. Yum!

This shopping trip was on my dinner break between office and rehearsal - somehow an extra day on a weekend doesn't mean more time. I started rehearsal tonight for Emma, which is very exciting and also a lot of pressure, since I'm supposed to play the heroine herself. I think the first rehearsal went well. At this point in my career at the Players, I know all the actors pretty well, having played with all of them before, and it's nice to have that level of comfort and commitment from fellow actors right from the start.

Rehearsal ended, and as Hannah and I were driving home on Westheimer, I took a closer look at a sign on a now empty building in Highland Village shopping center. There was a new classy construction barrier in black wrapped around the front. At first I wondered if it was somehow tied to Restoration Hardware going in just across the parking lot because of it's similar color and font style. And then I saw the lettering a little closer, BHLDN, and it clicked: Anthropologie's new wedding line! Yes! Their new wedding dress line that unveiled in February was going into Highland Village!

Hannah can bear witness to all the excitement and shrill noises that ensued as I grabbed her hand and shrieked. I'm not exactly sure why I'm so excited. I don't have a wedding coming up. I don't have a friend's wedding coming up. I'm not even exactly sure that the style of the dresses I've seen so far fit my style. But, they are beautiful. Really beautiful. The whole existing Anthropologie shop a few doors down is beautiful, and BHLDN is sure to be even more beautiful.

Beauty thrills my soul like few other things. I think God meant it that way. Those things that are beautiful draw us in and nourish a part of us that sometimes we didn't know was starving. I find beauty in many things: music, nature, children, the written word, a tender hearted woman, a strong protective man.

In all these things, we can see a reflection of God: who He is, what He loves, and what He intended this world to be. It also gives us a glimpse of our future with Him. The beauty here on earth must pale in comparison to being in His presence. I'm so glad to have His promise of someday being there with Him.

We've been going through a sermon series on death the past couple of Sundays, and the pastor said a phrase that has stuck with me this week. "Look for the promise after the storm." Like Noah, look for the rainbow, the beauty that is God's promise. He is with us. He will never leave us or forsake us.

I am thankful for the promises of God - for the beauty that speaks of His love for us, whether it be mozzarella, a wedding dress, or a rainbow.

the word of God

Short post tonight. I am thankful for the word of God; for the wealth of encouragement and exhortation it contains and that it still impacts people today, thousands of years after the last word was written. The Bible truly is living and active, and useful for us today. I'm finding more and more how wonderful it is to read large portions of it. So much of what people quote from it is misused because they haven't taken the time to read the context surrounding it. My understanding of several verses I've grown up quoting has changed, because I read what was written before and after the verse I memorized. I'm excited to read the Bible, thanks to God!